Pursuing Photography: Now or Never!

Christie, Fire Spinner at OIFF launch party

I have made a decision. A small one perhaps, but nevertheless, a decision to impact my learning and my career. Ironically, this seemingly passive accomplishment comforts me. Amidst the chaos and uncertainty, taking decisions gives oneself the impression of control (or of steering) one's life. We often make the mistake and think that too much is out of our hands. Unfortunately, that is partly true. But for most of us, the problem lies in our inability to assume our own freedom. But I digress... And so, I was saying: this ship is mine, and I'm steering!

If this "experience" (e.g. career crisis) has taught me one thing, it must be that one can never be too prepared to face challenges and that the only limits you actually face are the ones your mind sets. I began to think of ways to kill time in a pleasant way until the faithful call back. What can I do? How can I help myself further and unwind? It hit me, like Al Pacino in Scarface: my Nikon D3000 was looking at me, shouting "Say hello to my little friend!"

I then thought: I've been rambling about photography, reading up on it, attending workshops, but why not actually study it? Afterall, if I can gather a few dollars this fall, I could spend this year of "financial rejuvination" in a constructive investment for my career - and hey, why not feed my soul while I'm at it?

I realized that if I ever wanted to get nourrishment out of my career, I had to feel challenged but equiped. I also need to express my creativity. Learning - and continuing education - are essential tools to any professional's survival. Furthermore, it is a key to self-fullfilment, Maslow's ultimate need.

Seeing as I had already taken a workshop with Harry Nowell Photography (Creative Fundamentals), I figured I'd have a second look at what he is offering... I was astonished to find two courses Harry himself had later recommended me to take: Natural Light Portraits and Photojournalism with David Trattles. If I add these classes to a personal session, I can get a form of certificate. Later on, if my situation allows it, I could add two more classes, some shadowing and a few more privates and I'd be a certified professional. Oh the possibilities...

I am definitely looking forward to learning more about portraiture and journalism, along with how to purchase the appropriate lens. What a maze to navigate the selection of brands, functions, capacity, aperture...oy! However, that will be for a future blog anecdote.

"I love my art!"

Zack & Maryse

Swing out!

Whenever people ask why artists (or athletes for that matter) dedicate themselves to extremes to their form of art, most of them just answer: "I love my art!" Simple. Obvious, even. It should answer the question. Yet, the outsider can't help but wonder what they truly get out of, say, falling off a snowboard on an icy slope or standing in front of a glass-blowing oven to mold a beautiful vase.

Earlier this week, I attended the monthly Swing night at Petit Chicago in Gatineau (QC). The Outaouais valley suffered a record breaking heatwave with a blazing 34 degrees plus humidex... which meant that the air was a wet blanket of 44 degrees. Temperature in the Petit Chicago? I'm not sure, but I'm guessing Hell must feel a little like this. This weather is also relatively dangerous for seniors, infants and well... asthmatics, such as myself. Nevertheless, without being reckless, I have never been one to play the victim or complain. I gathered my dance shoes, my water bottle and my pump. I put on some comfy shorts and - this is a first for my lindy dancing - a sporty cami. I sleeked back my untameable hair. I splashed deodorant and brushed my teeth. I even packed a towel. Think this heatwave was going to stop me? Guess again. And so, I was on my way.

When I arrived in Hell, gates wide open, I found there were a merry bunch of shiny newcomers and some laid-back oldtimers. I chatted a bit with some friends. No one seemed to mind that by merely standing there, sweat was trickling down our foreheads, our arms and our legs. Have you ever SEEN sweat from a knee cap before? I hadn't. The social dancing began and to my surprise, the folks that were present were actually dancing: maybe not busting out their fast lindy or their craziest charleston, but everyone danced, pressed to each other, no care in the world for the heat or its consequences... Everything from Lindy to Blues and WestCoast, the Ottawa-Gatineau Lindy hoppers and Westies totally blew up the joint. Who needs A/C? We're kicking it oldschool. Take that, Global Warming! See if we care what's cooking in your kitchen: we're cooking up dynamite!

The thing is, when you committ to the art - precisely for what it is - and you let it be, you forget about being self-conscious, uncomfortable, tired or sore. You just do it. Kahlil Gibran said that work was love made visible. When dancers work, they are showering the world with their love.

As a classical and modern dancer, I have experienced many injuries, aches, cuts and bruises. I have also been a victim of wardrobe malfunctions! Some nights, I barely felt like dressing down and leaving the house to attend my class. During these sessions, I often felt like I probably should have stayed home. But when my teacher wrapped up the class, I felt the warmth of my tired muscles weighing me down, my sweat pearling, rolling down every inch of me, I was beaming. I felt so satisfied: I had pushed my body and drew a live, ephemeral canvas. One, that would never be the same, but was unique and truly my own. When I dance, I am present, aware and alive. There is no greater joy than being in the now. Dance is the activity that achieves this for me.

In the end, the art doesn't matter so much as it changes from person to person, but finding that one thing that makes you say "I love my art!", that is the most precious gift I have found life has given me so far.

Driving Vision

It's funny how the power of visualization can almost instantly draw an opportunity. I have recently been looking for a new job. I was working as a Communications Officer for a not for profit organization. My being the last recruit and the economy being what it is, I was out of work at a really awkward time of year: May. It's too late to meet the hiring craze of early spring for contracts beginning in the summer and it's obviously too early for the hiring wave of the fall, when students return to class. What's a girl to do?!?

That said, I've been living in a state of latent panic. Although I am a highly emotional and expressive person, my career choices are 95% based on logic, careful analysis and planning (FYI: The other 5% is hazardous: impressions and luck). Of course, I had my initial breakdown of tears and existential crisis ("Why now? Why me? What's the point of all this?"). The very next day, I put together a plan. I was to divide and conquer, no less. Might I mention that my plan has since been evolving rather positively, even if not entirely to my satisfaction (i.e. remarkably quickly).

I'll spare you the details, but essentially, I am to look for a full-time job in my field of communications. If that is to fail, my plan B (which seems to be the one currently in motion), is to opt for part-time employment at a lovely communications firm I know very well and to pave the financial gap with freelance writing. I would be working either a few days a week or every morning with my afternoons off and spare time to enjoy the sunshine, write and - this is the innovative part - build a photography portfolio!!! The idea came to me like a flash one afternoon. "Why not make use of this inevitable "free-time" to perfect the skills and knowledge I have already acquired? The whole point of my taking workshops this year was to broaden my horizons, both professionally and artistically. I guess one can say, "Be careful what you wish for".

And so, I have been contemplating how I could possibly get myself more involved in photography, mostly on a volunteer basis, in order to put together an interesting portfolio. Flowers are great, and I find shooting them very relaxing, but they just won't cut it. That day, on facebook, a dance acquaintance of mine posted a very clear call: "Looking for photographers". I took it as a sign. The friend in question is a musician and is currently creating a personal website to promote his performing and his teaching.

We met yesterday to discuss what he was looking for in terms of style and deadlines. Relaxed and open minded, the artist is giving me the creative freedom I seek to explore my capabilities. The wheels, they turn...

When I got home, I immediately started thinking of ways to make the shoots happen and to really convey what this guitarist was all about. In an enthusiastic message, I explained how I viewed the project. I realized then that there's more to photography than theory and mastering the intricacies of your camera. More importantly, you need vision.

It is the only way to tackle a project intelligently and it is the only way to tell a story, which is what photography does, in a snapshot, so to speak.

You need to get familiar with your subject and the project at large. You need to organize a shoot logistically speaking. You must direct the shoot (and in my case, hope to hell I know what I am doing!) and lastly, treat the photos. I'm perfectly comfortable with steps 1 and 2, and relatively comfortable with steps 3 and 4. In any case, I've promised my "client" I would do everything I possibly knew how to do to produce good photographs for him to use.

When there's a will, there are many ways!

For all the doubting and the fear that this situation has caused, I am grateful to have found myself obligated to rethink my life. Often, we forget that we are free to choose, at any point, the direction we're taking. Maybe my path is winding, but it doesn't lack narrative twists my mother calls "life's surprises". And that's just what they are: reminders that I'm alive for the living!

Eating books for breakfast

In terms of what I feed my body, I would say I generally have a healthy diet. Admittedly, I have been a chocolate-monster for years now and my daily regime has long been to soak up as much dance related activities in my day. I watched youtube videos, I caught SYTYCD Canada, I went to my classes, I talked about it and now, I even blog about it. But, what do I feel my mind? And what do I feed the writer/blogger? That said, every blogger turned writer (or has-been journalist turned blogger if you insist on specifics) knows that the key to a strong vocabulary comes from... I'll let you guess this one.

Ok. It's obvious now.

READING!

In all honesty, my university experience was one that had me so wrapped up in career-planning, projects, networking and oh-so-dull theoretical essays, that I was utterly turned off from reading altogether. And that, my friends, was for a few years. I have been timidly reopening books, dusting off novels, shyly reintroducing them into my world (or maybe it's me, feeling sheepish, wondering if I'm worthy of them). Lately - and I am not proud to say this - I've read more in a few months (heck, in a few weeks!) than I have in the past 2 years. Ok, my job search may have a larger part to play in my having more time to spend on books, but I still say it's a matter of intellectual readiness or thirst. Books (practical or fictional) have a way of providing an opportunity for travel. This can be in the form of a journey in time, in a foreign country, in a fantastic universe, in a language or profession or inside onself.

A few of the books I've read recently are Fahrenheit 451 (Bradbury), The Prophet (Gibran), Si c'était vrai...(Levy), Novecento: pianist (Baricco), Silk (Baricco), Icons of Photography: The 20th Century and I've just started Gilbert's Committed.

I guess I had been craving words so much that I've been seeking them in all shapes and sizes: novels, short stories, news, blogs, French, English, yours, anyone's. I have no idea if my vocabulary has improved in any way, whether in French or English, but I can assure you that my mind is stimulated and my spirits are lifted, even from the sole imaginary travels...I suppose you could say that these days, books are what I consider my breakfast of champions.

Lindy Leader or simply obsessed?

Byron & Natalia, Swing Explosion V

I received a surprising facebook message from a very bright artsy-type in my friends list. She's one of my best friend's little sister.

"Mercedes, can you tell me where I could possibly learn how to swing dance here in Ottawa?"

This Concordia art student suddenly took an interest in swing dancing. I have yet to figure out how it is she has come to discover it, much less want to dance it. But, hey, I figured, why wouldn't anyone want to learn how to dance lindy hop? Doesn't it just seem like the coolest dance and the most fun someone can have for under $10? The bruises you acquire are a bonus.

The message prompted my instinctual eager-to-please and dance-fanatic response: "But of course! I'd be glad to help!" I was about the send her a detailed list of Ottawa schools, social nights and activities - my commentary included - until I paused to think... "Have I made it to Lindy Leader status? Or has Lindy Hop taken so much space in my life that it is burned into my skin?" Or was it both? The question was relevant and pushed me to put effort and care into my message back to her.

Promoting businesses and societies equally while still offering advice seemed like the professional attitude a Lindy Leader would choose by being a beneficial approach to the Ottawa scene; by presenting different dance options, we are opening the doors to the world of swing. A mere sample which may suit one individual may not fit another's personality of learning style. Drawing more people to swing dancing means an enriched community with a variety of dancers, sharing interests and talents to enable progress on the whole.

A few months ago, I took part in Swing Dynamite's Lindy Leaders workshop where we explored everything from teaching, to DJing and community building. It seemed to me that the information was a goldmine but all, well, rather above my head. I wasn't a teacher, I've never really DJed (that university morning radio show doesn't count!) and I wasn't part of any "community" per say. I was left wondering what I was doing there. Meanwhile, I've got what a lot of people call "contagious enthusiasm".

Exhibit A: I go dress shopping for CSC and explain the types of dresses I'm looking for to the sales lady.

"I'm a swing dancer you see, I need something breatheable that covers my back. A bright colour would be fantastic! Does the skirt twirl?
-You swing dance? That's the coolest thing I've heard! I had no idea there were places who taught swing here in the capital! Could I give it a shot? Do I need a partner? ..."

And so, everywhere I go, I tend to chat up random strangers and slip into conversation that I swing dance. One thing leads to another... and I've intrigued another person about Lindy Hop. My friends, on the other hand, are kind of tired of hearing about my lessons, those mythical swing friends they never see and they now dread my opening Youtube..."LOOK! That's a pancake!...Oh, oh, that's a knickerbocker! Now, that's mad charleston styling, right there."

Back to my initial question: I may not teach regularly, host community activities or turn swinging tunes to drive the crowd wild, but my near-obsession seems to earn me at least a "Lindy Keener" title. In my defense, I prefer to live with the Jitterbug fever rather than with an obsession-free life and an inability to "Shout and Feel it" to Count Basie.